Difficult Lessons Page 10

  Sara’s students all came in rather somber when the bell sounded. There were a few who had not returned since all of this had started. Sara guessed that their parents had pulled them out to home school them or send them somewhere else so “the lesbian would not be influencing them”.

  Many of her students expressed their concern for what would happen to her at the end of the year. She explained to them that she was going to look for a job close by so that she would not have to move and she could keep in touch with them well after graduation, as she always had with her students.

  Sara fielded questions all day regarding her future plans. She answered all of them the same way she had in the first class. Most everyone was satisfied. Several teachers had also asked her the same thing. She gave the same answer to them as well. What else could she say?

  As the wave of students flowed down the hall at the end of the day, Sara noticed someone making her way through the crowd towards her. It was Shelly. Sara was surprised to see her, but also happy.

  “How are you Shelly?” Sara asked, sensing that there was something wrong.

  “Ms. Carson, I need to talk with you about something.”

  “Are you sure you should be here talking to me? I don’t want you to be seen by someone and it get back to your father. I’m sure that he would have something to say about it.”

  “I don’t care what he thinks at this point. He has caused enough people problems because of his stupidity.”

  “Shelly, don’t talk about your father like that. He is you dad.”

  “I don’t care, Ms. Carson. There is a lot about him that you don’t know. Actually there is a lot about me you do not know. I need to apologize to you also. I can never apologize to you enough for all of this. If it were not for me, none of this would be happening right now. It is all my fault.”

  “No it isn’t, Shelly. You had nothing to do with this. You can’t blame yourself.”

  “Like I said, there is a part to all this that you don’t know, Ms. Carson. As a matter of fact, only a few other people know about it. I need to tell you. I need to tell everyone why all of this has really happened.”

  “I don’t think you had anything at all to do with this, but if you need to talk, we can.”

  They walked inside Sara’s classroom. She started to close the door but stopped. She realized that it might not be a good idea to be in the room with Shelly with the door closed. “I think we might better leave the door open, just in case someone tries to say there was something inappropriate going on here. Is that all right with you, Shelly?”

  “That’s fine. If you want to bring in a witness, that’s okay too, Ms. Carson.”

  “No. I don’t think that will be necessary. Now, why do you think you caused all of this?” Sara leaned on the edge of her desk as Shelly took a seat in a student desk.

  ***

  “Kat, I want to tell you something,” Shelly said quietly.

  “Okay. You look serious all of a sudden.”

  “We have known each other a long time. We have played sports together, gone shopping together, and spent a lot of time together over the years. We are almost grown now. There is something about me that I have never told you.”

  “What? Are you in witness protection or something?” Kat laughed.

  “Come on, Kat. I really want to get this out.”

  “I’m sorry. Go ahead.” Kat was not sure how react.

  “Kat, you know that I never date. It’s not because I don’t want to date anyone. There is someone really special that I want to go out with. I have been in love with this person for a long time. I really don’t know how to express it. I’m scared to express my feelings.”

  “That’s easy, Shelly. You just walk right up to them, look them deep into their eyes, plant a kiss right on the lips, and say whatever comes to mind. Hopefully it won’t be filled with stutters.” Kat laughed.

  “You really think that will work?”

  “I know it will. I have done it before. It doesn’t insure that it will be a lasting relationship. As you well know, I am currently single. It will however, get that person’s attention.”

  “I think I will try it. Can I practice on you?”

  “That’s a little odd, but sure.”

  Both girls stood up from the bed where they were sitting. The radio was playing in the background. Shelly’s mind was racing.

  Placing her hands on Kat’s shoulders, she looked her in the eyes.

  “Kat, I have had a huge crush on you since we were twelve. My feelings have never changed. I have not had the nerve to tell you this before because I didn’t know how you would react. I love you, Kat.”

  “That was pretty good. It would probably be even better if you used the person’s name instead of mine, though.”

  “The truth is, Kat, you are that person. I am gay. You are my best friend and I love you more than you know. I have always loved you.”

  Shelly moved closer and kissed Kat on the lips. Kat responded by putting her arms around Shelly and holding her tightly.

  At that moment the door to Shelly’s bedroom flew open.

  “What the hell is going on here?”

  “Dad! Have you ever heard of knocking?” Shelly shrieked.

  “I shouldn’t have to know in my own house. I am glad I didn’t. I would have never known what was going on in here. Kat, it’s time for you to leave. Get out now.”

  Frank Griffin’s face was blood red.

  Shelly backed up in the corner of her room and Kat ran out of the room almost in tears.

  “What kind of filth has that girl talked you into doing? Are you sleeping with her?”

  “No, Dad. We are not sleeping together. We were just talking and I…”

  “You what? You thought you would experiment?”

  “No. I was not experimenting, Dad.”

  “So you have done this before? What kind of vile filth have you been exposed to? Who did this to you?”

  “No one has done anything to me, Dad. I am gay. That’s just the way it is.”

  Tears were streaming down Shelly’s face and it was hard for her to breathe.

  “Someone has influenced you to think that you can do things like this. Who is it?”

  “No one, Dad. I just am! Please leave me alone.”

  “I will not leave you alone. I cannot and will not tolerate this kind of behavior in my house right under my nose. I swear to you, I will find out who is responsible for this and I will see to it that they never do this to another child. You can bet on that.”

  Frank stormed out of the room slamming the door. Shelly collapsed on the bed.

  ***

  “I guess when he saw you at that bar with your friend; he assumed you were the one that had made me gay.” Shelly was wiping tears from her face as she finished recounting the events of that night to Sara.

  “God, Shelly. I am so sorry that you feel that you are the cause of my problems. You’re not. Please know that. This is all purely coincidental. I hate to say this, but people like your father have their own agenda. They are homophobic and want to rid the world of homosexual people. I cannot give you any advice on what to do as far as your dad is concerned, but I can tell you that you are not responsible for any of this with me, and you need to stop feeling like you are. Why don’t you go talk to one of the counselors? I can talk to one of them for you and explain what’s going on. They can call you out of class and maybe you can try to get some of this worked out. If they can’t help you, they can tell you who can.”

  “Thanks Ms. Carson. I’ve been talking to someone that’s trying to help me sort things out. It is helping a little, but I still feel responsible.”

  Sara walked over to Shelly and patted her on the back. “You’re not. Stop feeling that way. You are a brilliant young lady. You are smart enough to know that you are not the cause of your father’s actions toward me. How is he reacting to you at home now?”

  “He hates me. He only speaks to me when he has to. He will occasiona
lly tell me that if he ever catches me in a position like that again, he will throw me out of the house. He won’t even listen to my mother.”

  “How does your mother feel?” Sara’s concern for Shelly grew stronger.

  “Mom is okay with it. They are not on really good terms at the moment. She is threatening to move out. I wish she would so I could go with her. She thinks he has lost his mind over all of this.”

  “Shelly, I am glad you felt like you could come to me and tell me all of this. I wish I could do more for you than try to assure you that this is not your fault.” Sara looked at her watch. “You probably should go now. You don’t want to give him any reason to suspect anything. If you go home late, he might think you are up to something. That wouldn’t be good. Talk with your mom. You and her sit down together alone and try to figure out what you can do.”

  “Okay, Ms. Carson. Can I give you a hug or would that be a bad thing?”

  “You certainly can, Shelly. I would not turn down a hug from one of my best students.” Shelly hugged Sara tightly and Sara patted her on the back. “You better go now. Remember what I said.”

  “Thanks for talking with me. It has made me feel a lot better to get it off my chest, Ms. Carson.”

  “You are very welcome sweetie. I am glad that I could help a little. I will always be available if you need to talk. Be careful.”

  “I will,” Shelly said as she walked out of the room. “Take care of yourself too, Ms. Carson.”

  Sara sat back down at her desk feeling stunned. “This all makes sense now,” she muttered. “He has issues with gay people at work. He finds his daughter in a kiss with another girl. He sees me in a gay bar. Everything is put together in some twisted equation in his own mind. I am the enemy, even though I have done nothing to him. This guy needs some help. People like that are ticking time bombs.”

  ***

  Mr. Hilliard, the head of the English department, stopped Sara on her way to the car. “Ms. Carson, may I speak to you a moment? I will make it quick. I know you want to get out of here.”

  “Sure. What’s on your mind?” Sara thought she knew the answer, but she tried to shrug it off.

  “I resigned today. I will not be returning next year.” Mr. Hilliard continued, “I talked it over with my partner last night and we decided that no one should work in an environment like this current situation. This is definitely not a good place for those of us who are gay.”

  Sara was stunned. “You’re gay? I had no idea.”

  “Not many people do know. I have never felt the need to let everyone know because it is my private life, not my professional life. It is not anyone else’s business.”

  “I agree with you on that. Someone, however, felt the need to make it his business where I was concerned. I wish you good luck with whatever you do, Mr. Hilliard. The school will suffer a great loss with you leaving”

  “Thanks. You are a great teacher also, Ms. Carson. Your leaving is going to be a great loss to this school too.”

  “Thanks,” Sara said as she reached her car.

  Chapter 21

  Sara’s answering machine was flashing when they walked in from dinner. She dreaded playing it, but pushed the button anyway.

  “Ms. Carson, this is Ms. Breeden. I was calling to see if there was any news in your case. Please get back with me.”

  “I’ll take care of that tomorrow.”

  “Sara, this is your mom. I haven’t heard from you in a couple days. Is everything okay? Call me and let me know.”

  The third message was her Dad. He left virtually the same message as her mother.

  The final message was Karen. “I just wanted to let you know that everyone has received the letter. I got the receipts back from the messenger service today where they signed for them. Maybe we will be hearing from them soon. I’ll call you back as soon as I know something more. You and Cynthia take care of yourselves.”

  “Well, things should get interesting now,” Sara said as she sat down on the sofa. “I need to call Karen and tell her about the conversation with Shelly today. I can do that tomorrow though. I want to concentrate my energy on you tonight.”

  “I have made a decision, Sara.” Cynthia’s voice was serious. Sara turned to look at Cynthia as she sat down on the sofa. “I am going to resign from Mills. I am sure that they won’t mind, all things considered. There is a coaching position open at Cedar High. If I apply for it and get it, I can commute. It is only about twenty minutes away. I am going over there tomorrow. I could not, in good conscience, go to work at Mills after all of this. I saw where they also have a math position open. You should consider applying there also. We could car pool together to work. What do you think?”

  “I may do that. I have all of my personal days that I can take and I do have to look for a job. What the hell! I’ll take tomorrow off and go with you. I’ll have to go in and leave some lesson plans, but that won’t take long. I can be out of there before 8:00,”

  The phone rang as Sara finished her sentence.

  “Hello?”

  “Could I speak to Sara Carson?” The female voice on the other end sounded professional.

  “Speaking.”

  “Ms. Carson, this is Sandra Tatum. I am the principal at Cedar High School. How are you this evening?”

  “I am fine. How are you?” Sara was a little taken aback, but hoped it did not come through in her voice.

  “I am doing fine. I am sorry to bother you so late and at home, but I really wanted to talk with you and I had no idea how else to get in touch with you without contacting you at work.”

  “That’s fine,” Sara said, still a little puzzled.

  “I will get right to the point. I had a parent come in today wanting to enroll her daughter in school. She was coming from Mills High. Her being out of district and it being so late in the year, I had to ask why she wanted her daughter in our school. She told me what was going on with you at Mills. She said that she did not want her daughter to be in an environment where such prejudices were being allowed to exist. She also told me what a fantastic teacher you have been for her daughter. I decided to check up on you. You have an outstanding record with your students. I also talked with a couple of people that know you and they could not say enough good things about you. Would you be interested in coming over to talk with me about a math position that I have open for next year?”

  “This is such a coincidence. I was just sitting here talking to someone about that very thing. I was planning to take tomorrow off to come over and apply for the job.”

  “Well, I am glad that I called. Go by the personnel office and fill out the application and then come directly to the high school. What time do you think you can be here?”

  “I should be able to make it by 10:00. Is that acceptable?”

  “That will be perfect. When you get here, I will call the board office and have them fax me your application and we can talk. I want to ask you one more thing before you hang up. I understand that your friend is supposed to be the new volleyball coach at Mills. Would she be interested in coming over and meeting with me also?”

  “She is right here. You can talk with her if you would like.”

  “Great.”

  Sara handed the phone to Cynthia smiling. “Go ahead,” she whispered.

  Cynthia took the phone with a questioning look. She spoke with Ms. Tatum for a few moments and handed it back to Sara.

  “I guess we are all set for tomorrow then?” Sara asked taking the phone back.

  “Yes ma’am. I will see you ladies around 10:00 in the morning. If you run a little late because of going by the personnel office, don’t worry. Just come on as soon as you can.”

  “We’ll see you then,” Sara said and hung up the phone. She turned to Cynthia. “That was weird.”

  “Yeah, but a good weird,” Cynthia said laughing a little.

  “I guess we should get some sleep. I will drop you off at home on my way to Mills in the morning and you can get ready while I am
there putting things together for a substitute. I’ll come back and pick you up and we will head over there.”

  “That sounds great,” she said as she put her arms around Sara and kissed her.

  Chapter 22

  Sara left a message on the school voice-mail. “This is Sara Carson. I have something come up today and will not be in to work. I am leaving lesson plans on my desk for a substitute.”

  The drive to the school board office took them about twenty-five minutes. Both of them thought that would be an easy commute to work. There are people in other cities that commute much farther. Not to mention, they would ride together. That would make the drive much more pleasant.

  The application took about thirty minutes to complete. They still had about an hour before they needed to be at the high school.

  “Why don’t we grab a cup of coffee to kill some time?” Sara suggested. “There is a coffee shop on the way to the high school.”

  “Sounds great.”

  ***

  “I just cannot believe the coincidence of Ms. Tatum calling last night,” Sara said sipping her cappuccino. “Maybe this is a sign that things will turn out all right. I have been so worried that I would not be able to find a job and I would regret fighting this.”

  “You should never regret standing up for yourself, Sara.” Cynthia was reassuring. “You cannot let people manipulate you into what they want you to be. You have to be who you are. I found that out a long time ago.”

  “I am just not used to rocking the boat though.”

  “Well you sure rocked my boat when I met you.” Cynthia smiled an evil smile and both of them laughed.

  “We should be going. It is 9:45 and I think the school is about ten minutes from here.” Sara said as she downed the last of her drink.

  ***

  “Good Morning. I am Sara Carson. I have an appointment with Ms. Tatum.”

  The receptionist picked up the phone. “Ms. Tatum, there is a Ms. Carson here to see you.”